Wednesday Movies! - Actually Not a Movie this week.

I was going to try to see SALT this week but I was foiled by two things. 1) Salt was not eligible for the 5 dollar ticket price and 2) three of my friends wanted to see Inception. It should speak volumes that I went to see this movie twice. If you want my complete opinion see my review HERE

Instead I am going to review a new summer TV show:

I realize the coincidence that both my intended review, Salt, and Covert Affairs are based around hot chicks who work for the CIA.

First off allow me to say I am biased in favor of Covert Affairs for two reasons. 1) Most of USA's original shows are extremely entertaining and pure escapism. Which is perfect for me. When I watch TV it's as a little break between chores or homework. 2) Christopher Gorham. I mean look at him. He is a sexy sexy nerd:

Got to say ever since White Collar I'm a sucker for a man in a well fitted suit. 

Anyways onto the review:

The basic premise of the show is Piper Perabo is Annie Walker, a new CIA recruit with a gift for languages (she speaks six). Because of a broken heart she joins the CIA in order to marry herself to her job. She is pulled from her training at The Farm a month early for use of her language skills and her good looks. (Here's a game: Name a spy movie where the attractive female is not disguised as a stripper/prostitute/drunk slut etc.) Turns out after her first mission the CIA doesn't send her back to finish her training but keeps her on not just because of her performance but because there's a conspiracy regarding her previous lover afoot. 

Overall the show is cute. I don't think I have ever had to say that about an action based show or movie. But it's the only word that really fits. Piper has the same fish out of water but slowly discovering it has lungs behavior that she showed in Coyote Ugly (yes I watched it. I'm only mildly ashamed). Christopher Gorham is Auggie the blind tech guy who is kind of a player. Kari Matchett and Peter Gallagher are a married CIA  and seem to have the role of Mommy and Daddy to the field operatives. Unfortunately Mommy and Daddy don't have the healthiest relationship and I can see that is going to trickle down onto "the kids" in a negative way. Anne Dudek plays Piper's older sister who allows her to live in her guest house and creates the family tension (similar to John Goodman in Coyote Ugly). Since she has to remain unaware of Piper's true career she thinks that her sister is working for the Smithsonian.  

Cute still seems the right word. But in this case cute is all you need. There is a cute guy (plus a cute guy of the week for each mission), a cute main character, a cute family interaction (both at the CIA and between Piper and Anne) and somehow it kinda works for me. I'm not saying it's the best TV show ever but it does what I think decent TV should do, provide you with an hour of time in which you can just chill and watch the screen. It's better than a good 80% of what's on the tube anyways. 

My only suggestions are: Use Anne Dudek more she's a great actress and deserves more screen time. and put Piper in designer dresses and shoes (She wore a classic pair of Louboutin pumps in the pilot, jealous!) more often so I can live vicariously through her wardrobe.

Images from Starpulse.com, poptimal.com 

Wednesday Movies!

The movie theater in my home town has 5 dollar tickets all day on Tuesday. Since I eventually want to work in th movie industry I have decided that (when I can afford it) I will see a new release and review it.

Tonight's entry:

This is about to be my easiest review ever. Go see it! My faith in the creativity of Hollywood has been completely restored. The acting was on par, the special effects were minimal (which was surprising considering the material), the costuming was subtle, but for me the crowning achievement was the story and the telling of it.
The story was completely unique to me. And I know that there is nothing new under the sun but this is the first movie I have seen in a long time that didn't have blatantly obvious source material. Christopher Nolan is one of my favorite directors, Batman Begins was done so well and The Dark Knight was a satisfactory follow-up. He did wonders with this story the whole film felt so weirdly paced, fast fast slow fast slow, there was a distinct lack of pattern. It felt like dreaming. The tension was there the whole time and by 20 minutes into the film I felt such empathy for Leonardo DiCaprio's character. The climax had myself and my two friends literally on the edges of our seats.
So go see Inception and see it in the theater the visual effects are worth the immersion of the big screen.

PS. Speaking as a red-blooded woman Joseph Gorden Levitt was scrumptious in this movie.

Yummmm

(Photos from FilmoFilia and Reel Movie News)

Now I Understand

My parents are in the process of starting a business in Africa manufacturing and selling BUV's or Basic Utility vehicles. (Go to their website Sahel Auto for more info) My Dad has been to Africa twice my Mom has only gone once, but in their time there they have become enamored with the need to pull the entire continent out of the third world.

In their fund raising presentation that they give to potential investors there is a short segment on the plight of women in Africa. Focusing on the fact that women to an inordinate amount of the work particularly when it comes to hauling goods, water, firewood, etc. Now like most members of the Western World, this comes as no surprise. Everyone has seen the pictures in National Geographic or a program on Discovery with the native women carrying loads of goods on their heads. So we accept that this is just a strange, quaint, native custom. 

The reality is far from quaint. I lack the words to properly describe the injustice that these women have to suffer through. However this short (less than an hour) documentary A Walk To Beautiful - NOVA shows more than I can say. It is truly horrifying that this is the way women are treated. The most devastating part for me was a girl saying that unless she could be cured from her obstetric fistula she would kill herself before going home to be ostracized by her family. The sad thing was she wasn't threatening to kill herself for the attention or to make a scene, it was simply matter of fact. 

This leads me to one very angry comment: Feminists in America need to get a life. I know women still make less than men for the same job, and hot damn women has the word "men" in it. These social "injustices" should make no difference while there are women and girls (little girls, as young as 8) who are forced into fulfilling the role of Mother, sex toy, and workhorse and cast aside when any one of those duties cannot be met. I understand the desire to be equal. In my relationships with men I like being treated with as much equality as possible (unless there's something on a high shelf I can't reach or a jar that can't be opened). But why should we care about the little things when all over the world women don't even get the privilege to be second class citizens.. 

When Being a Nerd Backfires...

This morning I was shaking off symptoms of allergies while aiding my family in cleaning the house. The Parents had some potential business partners come over to look at their project and to prepare for this we (my sister and I)  had to spend every moment between waking up and noon cleaning and prepping lunch. So I was operating at less than full capacity (what with my brains trying to escape through my nose) when I received the following text:
"I was wondering if you'd like to see eclipse with me this afternoon"

Now this text was from a dear dear friend whom I have known since I was a mere eight years old and I love spending time with her since we so rarely get to hang out. Plus my brain assumed "There's a solar eclipse today and I didn't know about it?!" Immediately I replied to the text with "Sure. What time?"

It wasn't until I got the reply, "I was thinking a matinée..." That a warning went off in my head telling me that something was rotten in the state of Denmark. At that time I was already committed and a tad confused. Roughly half an hour later, I was scrubbing the tub in the main bathroom that I made the connection and realized that what I was going to see was not a fascinating  natural phenomenon, but a movie inspired by Stephanie Meyer's self-insert fan-fiction the Twilight series.

I have read the first book of the series. After finishing it I declared the plot insipid and useless and a literary castration of some of the greatest villains in fiction both written and on the screen. The original vampire, Dracula by Bram Stoker, was such a great foe because he embodied all the vices of humanity that we so often want to lose ourselves to; despite the danger and potential consequences. That's what made him so seductive. Dracula was powerful in his ability to appeal to the sub-conscious desires of his victims. This made him simultaneously scary and alluring.

If I were a patient woman I would give you a blow by blow account of what is wrong with the premise of these movies. Luckily there are enough people in this world who agree with my feeling that they can argue for me.
The biggest issue is the relationship between Edward and Bella: http://kar3ning.livejournal.com/545639.html
And the other issue is Stephanie Meyer's writing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Sue

So the movie...
In order to make this review as complete as possible I had to wikipedia the movie to learn the names of the characters. I may never recover.
The Actors/acting:  I despise Kirsten Stewart and Robert Patterson equally. Their acting is wooden and their appearances are as bland as Kraft Singles (without the benefit of being sandwiched between two pieces of bread, lightly toasted in a pan, and dipped into tomato soup). The fact that they play the main characters in this saga does not endear me to the films in the least.
Edward's family were quiet and supportive and apparently act as vampire homeland security for the state of Washington. Bella's dad was the "grr I hate your boyfriend" stereotype to provide you a excuse for overly dramatic proclamations of love. The werewolves played the people of the earth blue collar metaphor to contrast with the Cullins high brow aristocratic metaphor.
However, Bryce Dallas Howard (the antagonist) and Taylor Lautner get points for being the most attractive members of the cast. Wolf-boy's abs made this a little less painful.
The Plot: First off I should mention I have neither read the second book or seen the second movie I was able to skip an entire installment with out being affected at all. Obviously the quality of this story is earth-shattering. Bella (poor innocent helpless Bella) is the target for an evil vampire's plot for revenge against Edward for killing her lover. However I distinctly remember that Alice (the tiny cute vampire) was the one responsible for the only worthwhile moment in the first film when she leaped on  the bad guy and ripped his head off. So Bryce Dallas' character should have been gunning for Alice's mate, Jasper.
Speaking of Jasper, he provided one of the more interesting plot points in the movie. With the exception of an ill -advised imitation of General Patton and an even worse southern accent (that was noticeably absent in the first film) the back story to his character was actually interesting.
Rosaline's three minutes of character development felt less forced than Jasper's and was just as entertaining. Frankly with a voice coach and some muscle tone for Jasper, and better dialog for both side-plots I would gladly pay to see both stories get their own full length film (with an R-rating to amp up the gore and horror elements and with an appeal to an older audience). Especially since the characters actually act like traditional vampires.
Film production: The director did what he could with what he was given and frankly given such puerile material did not opt to confuse the simplistic target audience with fancy directing. (BTW loved David Slade's Hard Candy, not a film for the weak of heart or stomach). I was impressed with the sound effects. The sound of vamp 1 ripping the limbs off of vamp 2 had enough other-worldliness not to be gross but enough similarity to the sound of cracking bones that most of the action could take place just outside of frame. Special effects, the wolves looked fake and the vampires still sparkle. (My heart goes out to all men who's S.O.'s have Twilight fever and pray you are not allergic to glitter) The soundtrack was actually really good.

To sum up I  did get to see a strange phenomenon. The rate at which these girls flock to the films and devour the books is nothing short of a natural wonder. In fact I still wonder what redeeming value can be found in this series at all.

Adventures in Phones!

Today was an auspicious day. The Boyfriend got a new phone. One that works, and has a charger that works and it doesn't drop calls, and is big enough he can stop losing it. He got the LG Ally, a nifty Droid phone, and for the 10 minutes I got to play with it (plus the 20 minutes I played with the display model in the Verizon store) I was really impressed. Now I have done my research on smart phones (three years ago I purchased my BlackJack II, I was a rich engineering intern back then. pulling in $400+ a week. Ah the good ol' days) and have been continually impressed by the Android OS. So I was really excited when the Boyfriend picked up this new phone, which we promptly dubbed "Ms. Jackson"

It confirmed everything I had read about Droid phones and in my humble opinion it  way out performed the Motorola Droid (which I have played with on multiple occasions). 

The Boyfriend's phone looks like this: (only black)

Now I am so excited for my graduation. I have promised myself that for my Graduation present to me I am purchasing an HTC Droid Incredible (provided I have a job)

Nick and Nora

So I finally watched Nick and Nora.

First off I was already prejudiced against this movie for two different reasons: 1) I detest  Michael Cera. Ever since arrested development he has played the same character over and over. (Lust for cousin strictly optional). I find it hard to believe that women find him attractive. Even with the guitar and on stage he still seemed like that odd kid who isn't quite right in the head. 2) They stole Nick and Nora and dumbed it way way down. If you have never heard of the The Thin Man watch it! The Complete Thin Man Collection (The Thin Man / After the Thin Man / Another Thin Man / Shadow of the Thin Man / The Thin Man Goes Home / Song of the Thin Man / Alias Nick and Nora) These movies while they may claim to be mysteries are really built around the interactions between the two main characters Nick and Nora. Every scene is dripping with wit and artful duels of conversations. Instead, I was treated to discussions about who has more indie cred, and why my friends suck more than your friends, and let's discuss our exes.

There were some positives though. The biggest one for me was Nora's drunk friend Caroline. The girl was perfectly convincing as the person who is too much trouble for anyone's good. Plus when I read that she improved the majority of her performance I was further impressed (See the turkey sandwich scene YouTube it if you have to). Other good things include Nick's band. Sure they played up some gay stereotypes but frankly who doesn't? They were amusing and their interactions with the rest of the cast made me giggle.

Overall this movie was worth seeing just to be caught up with the rest of my generation. While the idea of running around NYC looking for a band that only likes to do "secret shows" is actually creative and sounds like a whole lot of fun (especially to those of us trapped in the Midwest), Michael Cera's monotone and the "witty" dialog leave a lot to be desired.